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Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
” —Attention, Space Cadets: Do Not Proposition Women in the Elevator
I wish I didn’t need to reblog stuff like this. I wish people *got it*. But judging from the ridiculous response to these posts, stuff like this clearly still needs to be repeated.
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This actually made me cry. Ugh.
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Will always reblog
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I don’t want to think of how many times I reblogged this.
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handy guide
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I’m interested in shooting:
- couples
- skate culture
- musicians
- you and your friends!
My primary focus is lifestyle photography. If you want a photo session with me, please message me here or email me at [ judicrous @ gmail.com ]. I am located in Los Angeles, CA.
Reblog, my followers!
SO CUTE AW
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According to old paintings, there’s mad titties in heaven.
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Brains change. The environment you’re exposed to and the actions you take each day affect your brain. What happens today, and this week, and this month, is going to affect the health of your brain, your actions, and your decisions tomorrow, and next week , and next month, and next year.
When we struggle with a mental illness, we often want to change what’s going on in our brain right now. But that’s not possible. The only thing to do is to accept what your brain is throwing at you and learn from it. But what is possible, is taking actions today that are going to make your brain better able to make healthy decisions in the future.
There’s lots of great research and therapies out there that focus on how neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to change—plays an important role in overcoming anxiety disorders and a range of other illnesses. Go and read about it. If you’re alphabetically challenged, watch videos on neuroscience.
You can’t control where your brain is at right now. But you’re in charge of deciding where it goes from here. So learn about it, and help to plan your brain’s journey to a healthier place.
- Mark
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(Source: pmaalllday, via liamdryden)
butts are great
butts are nice
let me slap
your butt twice
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[video]
Pussyfoot is a great verb, people should use it more.
In fact, we should just get to the point where our entire vocabularies can be replaced with cat analogies.
This is an excellent idea, or at least a good challenge; to use preexisting ones.
